Connie Page Seven

Experiences as an SOS Mother
Right from the start, I found it important to ensure contact with the outside world. We visited my parents, brothers and sisters and we received visitors. A family can grow together by doing things together: The more you experience jointly, the more you have to fall back on. For example, going for a walk in the park: I was able to point out a lot of things about nature and discovered that the children were interested. This was a link for me to be able to reach them, so that even Fred and Oliver started to take notice of their surroundings, despite the constant whirlwind around them. They developed a liking for nature. Somehow this educational style has borne fruit. Now I can rely on arrangements and that's the basis for me to be able to do things outside of Brandenburg too. It's so important to me to be able to open up the world for the children. We travel a lot and have even been to SOS Children's Village Imst twice. I felt it was important to bring the children closer to SOS Children's Villages, and so I showed them its roots.

What happened to Oliver?
 Oliver no longer lives with us. He has moved to a home for children with special needs. He moved out in February 2001. Oliver asked if he could still be allowed to call me mum, but he couldn't stand living so closely with others. He wanted it so much, but, at the same time, he couldn't stand it. He was in the county hospital for almost six months whilst they determined what he really needed. Now he's living in a facility that suits his needs. We see each other regularly, so that the relationship between the two brothers is not lost.

Have you, as a person, changed since you've been living in the SOS Children's Village?
I’ve certainly changed, as a person. I think that, most of all, my social competences have developed. Apart from that, I can only say that I'm now living my life's aim and have found an inner contentment, where before I was still seeking something. I could say that I've arrived.

How has your working relationship with the other SOS mothers developed?
 We work well together. We have an SOS mothers’ meeting twice a month, where we talk about the children and other topics. It is an autonomous group, without the village director and just with the SOS mothers. I find that good, as we are in the process of implementing a team model.

Could you describe this team model briefly?
 In the early 1990's a new youth welfare law was brought in. Amongst other things, it states the legal basis for facilities which give permanent care to children. The rules declare that only qualified personnel can take on the care of the children. Because the training in Mörlbach wasn't a state-registered course, that meant that, in the eyes of the law, the people caring for the children and working here were not adequately qualified. The association had to work out a suitable model. That now looks like this: future SOS mothers have to be state-registered educators and SOS mothers who are already working can do this training now, if they want to. The law also looks at the question of who cares for the children when the SOS mother has time off. A second change is, therefore, that the former family assistant is now the "second educator", to ensure that, when the SOS mother is not there, the children have a qualified person to look after them. This job could also be done by a man. And then we have the "third qualified educator". These are women who want to become SOS mothers and are doing their practical training as family assistants.

Connie's Story:
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All these mother's stories come from SOS Children's Village Hermann Gmeiner Academy. Copyright is reserved and no unauthorized use permitted. Use for non-commercial purposes may be requested. The interviews telling about the lives of some SOS Mothers form part of an interesting study on being a replacement Mother to children in need in SOS Children's communities worldwide.