Elena Page Two

The Story of Her Life

What do you consider to be your specific strengths and weaknesses?
That's a difficult question. Strengths and weakness, they depend on the specific situation. I'm patient and can wait a long time for something but I can also be strict and can chastise but I don't bear a grudge. The children are aware of that and sometimes take advantage of it.

Motivation for the Choice of Career "I wanted to be able to help a few children to become normal citizens." I had everything: a flat, a job, everything. But I didn't have a family of my own. It would have been easy to marry a man. I had a few to choose from. But I had the picture of my parents in my mind and I set very high standards both for my future husband and myself. During the Soviet Union times we were all atheists but then in 1992 I became a Christian. I believe in God. One day I went to church and prayed that I would have a family. Whilst I was praying, I saw myself entering the church with some children and heard a voice telling me that these would be my children. I knew that they would be children from the orphanage. It was all like a dream. I cried and knew immediately that I would have to change my life. I understood that it was a gift from God. Before, He had given me all the rest: the trips, the money and a nice flat and now He was going to give me a family and that was a real gift. But I couldn't come to terms with this thought. Nothing changed for a whole year. I calmed down again and decided it had all been just a dream. Then I read in the paper that SOS Children's Villages were looking for women. I thought for a long time about whether I should go there or not. At that time I was on a business trip and I met a group of children who had run away from an orphanage because they'd had nothing to eat there and there was no financial support. I was shocked to see that children of ten and fourteen were forced to steal and go into prostitution in order to survive. I found out that one mother had killed her child because she hadn't been able to feed him. I understood that this mother had had no choice and that those children would not have had to steal or become prostitutes if they'd had a place where they had enough to eat. I promised myself that I would help a few children to become normal citizens and to give them a happy childhood just like the one I'd had. After I got back from my trip I dug out the advert, wrote a letter and posted it. Normally our postal system doesn't work too well but in this case I got a phone call at five the next day and was invited for an interview. That proved to me that this was what I had to do. After the interview I was invited to go on a course for future SOS mothers trainees.

How did your family and friends react to your decision?
My father gave his blessing straight away. My mother said, "You don't need that. It will be too much for you." She'd had experience in bringing up children and knew how difficult it was to be a mother. But ever since she first set eyes on the children she has supported and helped me. Some of my friends said, "We've always known that you would go somewhere where you could help people." Most of them thought it was a wonder: "She's got everything, a career and a job and now she wants to go somewhere where she doesn't even know what she's going to have to do." But I was convinced that this was God's plan for me and I still believe that now.

Experiences as an SOS Mother

"Watching the sunrise and the sunset with the children."

It was difficult to begin with. I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I had to change my behaviour and had to learn to understand the children's needs. So I changed: my circle of friends, my interests, even my reading-matter. Now I read books on psychology or on how to bring up children. When I took the children on a trip to Moscow, I saw everything through the children's eyes. That was an entirely new perspective for me. We went to museums and concerts and did everything together. I really enjoyed watching the sunrise and the sunset with the children and seeing how they were rediscovering the world for themselves. Now they don't see everything in grey and black any more. They see all the colours and the happy side of life. I'm proud that I've been able to make them see this.

What have been the most beautiful and most difficult experiences you have had in the SOS Children's Village?
It was dreadful to see how different the children were. They didn't know the basics and couldn't behave like normal children. They didn't think that adults ate because they had never sat at a table with an adult. You have to teach them all of life's rules so that they can get by. One of the girls behaved like a robot that was just waiting for the next command. It was a wonderful experience for me when she started trying to pull my leg because at least it showed she had feelings! Now they do everything that normal children do. They talk and they eat properly. That makes me happy and I'm proud of the children.

When the children's school friends come to visit us with their parents they think it's going to be like a normal orphanage at first. However, as soon as they realise what sort of family atmosphere we have here, they change their minds straight away. Usually the children want to stay with us, because there are so many children here and so many games to play.

How would you explain an SOS mother's tasks to our readers?
An SOS mother's main task is to awaken the children's joy in learning and to show them the right path. Even if this family is an artificial one, the children need to develop healthy roots within it. Only then will the tree grow beautiful leaves and be strong. The children have to understand that life is a gift. You have to teach them to see the bright and happy side of life. They have to be able to forget all the negative experiences they have had and all the suffering they have gone through. It is important to teach the children that they have to love others and themselves and that they have to be able to protect themselves. It is also important to make them realise that they are valuable members of society.

As far as education is concerned, SOS Children's Villages gives the children every opportunity to learn a trade, which is suited to their talents and abilities. Apart from that, if they are interested, the children are also able to go to sport or music clubs. That helps them to find enjoyment and to practice interacting with other people. An SOS mother's task is to discover the children's interests and abilities and to stimulate them so that they can develop.

Elena's Story:
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All these mother's stories come from SOS Children's Village Hermann Gmeiner Academy. Copyright is reserved and no unauthorized use permitted. Use for non-commercial purposes may be requested. The interviews telling about the lives of some SOS Mothers form part of an interesting study on being a replacement Mother to children in need in SOS Children's communities worldwide.