Elena Page Three

That doesn't seem to be an easy task. What sort of support do you get?
Of course you can't do all that on your own. We work together with psychologists. That was a new thing in Kazakhstan but I have always felt that they support and understand me. We also have a great team of SOS aunts and we work together well. Nobody can give us as much help as the SOS aunts do.

Has the working relationship within the team changed since you have been here?
Our village hasn't been here all that long. We all started learning at the same time and I know that the village's management is also still learning. All of us here – there are 100 children and 33 adults – are one big family. Those who didn't fit in and had other aims have left the children's village. It's hard work. Over the past five years we have built up a team and you could say that everybody's hearts beat as one. Even though we have people here with varying qualities, traditions, education and experiences, there is something that binds us all together. This variety of mentalities makes us richer. The children are also interested in the customs, traditions and food of other nationalities. For example, when Aunt Guschonat comes, the children run to her saying, "Auntie Guschonat is here and she's going to bake those sweet rolls for us!" We celebrate all the traditional national feast days in our village and the children are taught to respect other traditions and nationalities.

How did you find your training to become an SOS mother?
I found the course very interesting and I enjoyed learning. We were taught medical and psychological subjects. I learned about education and housekeeping for the first time. We were told that we were the only SOS Children's Village where all the SOS mothers had been to university. We found it a bit silly that SOS mothers came from foreign SOS Children's Villages to teach us how to cook and keep a house clean. Our mentality is different: our women can do everything in the home. You could say that this was one of the successes of the Soviet system. We were also given theoretical knowledge during the course and even today you sometimes have to look in your notes to find solutions to a problem you may have. In the meantime the programme has been further adapted, having taken our experiences and knowledge into consideration.

How long did your training last?
It lasted about three months but we are continually learning. Our educationalists and psychologists are constantly offering courses and they are learning all the time too. They learn together with us. We are the first in Kazakhstan and some of the examples we are given from Africa or other European SOS Children's Villages don't suit our needs. We have to rework them to make them suitable for our situation and mentality.

What do the four SOS Children's Village principles mean to you?
They represent the aims of the SOS Children's Village. According to these principles the child is brought up to be open to the world, to be good to other people and, as far as possible, not to have any aggression towards themselves. There's an old saying that states that everybody needs a house they can go back to with all their problems and joys. They should always be able to find warmth and understanding there. It is important that everybody has a family, because a family gives a person security and everything you need for life is taught you by your family. It is also important for everybody to have brothers and sisters. I'd like to tell you of an example: the first thing Aljoscha told me was that he had brothers and sisters. Everyday the first question when he woke up and the last before he went to bed was, "When will you find my brother and sister?" It took us a year to find his brother, Anatoli. It took us much longer to find his sister. She had been adopted and, according to the laws here, adoption remains a secret. It was thanks to the personal dedication of one of our educators that we eventually found her, but her parents don't want her to have any contact with her brothers.

Have you ever compared your situation to that of a single mother outside the SOS Children's Village?
There's a big difference. A woman who has a child does it for herself and for her ego. A woman who comes here to be an SOS mother puts the children's interests first and sometimes forgets about herself. She has to adapt to the needs of the children.

If you had three wishes, what would you change in the SOS Children's Village?
What I would like most of all would be that the contacts between the various SOS Children's Villages be extended and strengthened. During Soviet times we had a children's camp. It was a sort of holiday home where children from all over the Soviet Union and from other countries came together. A lot of friendships were made then that have lasted until today. I am sure that nobody who has had an experience like that could possibly want to make war against, or be aggressive towards, other nations and traditions. If we had a camp like that, we shouldn't just invite SOS Children's Village children but also disabled children because they have a very hard time in our country. Any child who has spent at least a month in a holiday camp like that will have stored a lot of good for the rest of his or her life, and will also have developed the ability to look after weaker people. The basis for a person's being is laid in his or her childhood. I would also like for a family not just to receive a house from SOS Children's Villages but also some form of transport. There is only the village director's car and a minibus and all the families

Elena's Story:
Page 1
Page 2
Page 3
Page 4
Page 5
Page 6

All these mother's stories come from SOS Children's Village Hermann Gmeiner Academy. Copyright is reserved and no unauthorized use permitted. Use for non-commercial purposes may be requested. The interviews telling about the lives of some SOS Mothers form part of an interesting study on being a replacement Mother to children in need in SOS Children's communities worldwide.